12 Ridiculous Reasons for Breakups! Number 9 Gave Me Cancer!

Some craziest, stupidest and absurd reasons for breakups that will give you a ‘facepalm’ moment. Number 9 and 12 are just hilarious AF!

12 Ridiculous Reasons for Breakups! Number 9 Gave Me Cancer!

Relationships are often precious, peaceful and purrrrrrfect! They nurture you with love, care, affection, kindness and respect. However, relationships don’t always turn out to be like a fairy-tale that we often expect them to be. Sometimes, they leave you heart-broken, void and with full of tears. Besides, getting dumped by someone you truly love is never fun, right? While there might be some rational reasons for your breakups, there are certain relationships that end with some absurd and ridiculous reasons. For an instance, if someone broke up with you because you talk to your best friend much OR you eat much every day OR suddenly, they can’t see their future together then trust me, they did you a huge favour by kicking themselves out of your life.

Recently, I talked to a lot many people who have gone through the same shit and got an idea to compile a list of those craziest, stupidest and absurd reasons for breakups that will give you a ‘facepalm’ moment. So, if you’re curious to know these ridiculous reasons for breakups, grab a bottle of chilled water as you might need it to calm your roasted mind afterwards! So, here we go!

#1       SELF-Obsession Level: Infinity!!!

A few months before my boyfriend broke up with me because I didn’t comment on his picture. Can you believe that? He sent me his selfie and I didn’t say anything. This made him so butthurt that he dumped me!

#2       Oh, My Mayonnaise!!

So, I was dating this girl back in high school and she broke up with me because I put Mayo on a sandwich. She said, “It’s just disgusting and I don’t think I can kiss you knowing that you’ve put this shit in your mouth before.” It was really embarrassing man!

#3       It’s Apple vs Android Again!

My girlfriend was an Apple fan and I use an Android phone. She asked me to switch to Apple and I refused. First, I thought she was kidding but I must tell you now, she wasn’t kidding at all.

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#4       What a Dream!!

It was all good between us and then one day, she told me that we can’t stay together. When asked the reason for break up, she said and I quote, “Because I had a dream last night and you were completely asshole to me in the dream”.  Well, yeah! That’s in her GODDAMN DREAM!

#5       ‘Insufferable’ Baby Voice Talks!

She used to talk to her dog in a lispy baby voice, which was somehow sufferable! But when she started talking to me in the same nasally voice, Gosh, I can’t tell you how annoying it used to be.

#6       What a Companionship!

Okay, so, while I was in college, my girlfriend dumped me because her best friend had broken up with her guy a few days ago. Damn, I didn’t know we were having a joint-relationship, lol.

#7       He Should Have Dated Usain instead!

Been in a relationship with a fitness freak who was fond of aerobic exercises. Everything was fine until that day when he came and said, “You aren’t capable enough to keep up with me on my runs.” And that was eventually the last time when he talked to me. Such a moron!

#8       It’s a Name Game, Lol!

He broke up with me because I have the same name as his sister. All he said during the break up was that he tried to make it work but he couldn’t as I remind him of his (alive, not dead :p) sister while making out.

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#9       Dumped Over Toenails!

I’m sorry but I dumped my ex because his toenails were too long that they’d clicked on the floor like a fricking dog. It was so irritating.

#10     No ‘Bigheads’ Allowed, Ma’am!

We dated for a couple of weeks and then one day, I looked at her for like a good minute and I realised that her head was way too big for her body. It was really weird and at that moment, I realised she had to go!

#11     Kittens Aren’t Adorable Anymore!

Have you heard of someone breaking up because of the kitten? Haha, let me tell you then. We were in a live-in relationship for more than a year and a half. A few weeks ago, we adopted a kitten, who apparently hated me. We had an argument over the ‘newly adopted’ kitty and I told her I don’t like her kitten. So, she left me and took the kitten with her.

#12     Relationship Tips 101: Never Spoil GOT for Fans!

My ex broke up with me because I told him that Joffrey Baratheon dies in Season 4, Episode 2 in Game of Thrones (GOT). Guess, he couldn’t take this spoiler well, haha.

These unbelievable and silly reasons for breakups tell us how weird some people are. Comment on your favourite ones among these craziest breakup reasons and let’s see who wins the ‘most ridiculous reason for breakups’ title.

And, if you or your friends have gone through the similar shit, share it in the comment box down below. I’ll create another article based on your experiences and you never know how embarrassing would it be for your ex to read their stupid excuses to break up with you!


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Written by Taylor Adams

Taylor is a sexual health blogger and relationship educator. She helps individuals understand the theory of lovemaking and helps improve the intimacy between couples. At Foxamour, she provides readers with tips to nurture their relationships and strengthens their chemistry with their partners.

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