Getting over someone whom you once loved a lot isn’t easy. It takes weeks, months and sometimes even years. If you’re the one who pulled yourself out of the relationship, it possibly wouldn’t have much impact on you as ‘you know the reasons for breaking up with your partner’, right? Otherwise, it will take a toll on you mentally and emotionally when you realize that the other person has eventually fallen out of love. After having your break up, everything thrashes, everything churns. But one thing that stays with you is the memory! The memories and those moments you shared with your ex haunt you and leave you void. And, these moments never let your ex come out of your mind.
You crave to see your ex, stalk their social media profiles and see how they are doing in life. And, when you got to know, your non-presence doesn’t affect their lives, it pisses the hell out of you even more. You feel like giving yourself enough time to heal before getting involved with someone else. However, the thoughts about your ex overpowering your mind at this phase can make it more difficult for you to move on. Needless to say, even I have been through the worst break-ups at a time when I didn’t have a clue that my relationship is falling apart. No doubt, it’s very excruciating.
If you’re still addicted to your ex and trying so fucking hard to come out of it, follow my lead!
Why is it too hard to move on after a break-up?
Have you ever wondered why does it happen when you have a severe heartbreak? Why is it that everything just leads you to your ex and your past relationship? Well, let me first explain you the whole mechanism and the impact of break-up on us. When you’re going through a breakup, everything pisses you off. You do have your friends and acquaintances who constantly nag you with lots of ideas and philosophies to help you get over your relationship! They make a number of failed attempts to cheer you up! But everything fails and all you feel comfortable with is your melancholy.
Why does nothing help you move on?
There are a number of brain studies have performed on relationships and break-ups and researchers have found something interesting that’ll help you understand the whole mechanism of break up and its impact on you! As per the research, when we are in a relationship, we get addicted to love and become too dependent on it. The sudden break up withdraws the sense of romantic love and satisfaction, which makes our brain cells to react the same way as if we are deprived of some other additive opioids. As a result, we tend to indulge ourselves with the graphics memories of our ex that soothe our chaos for a short period but make our desire more influential.
How to move on after a break-up?
Getting over your ex makes the same impact on your brain cells as quitting drugs. The more you will try to get over your ex in the beginning, the more you will find yourself longing for him/ her. What you must do here is to be strong and resist yourself from this mental pressure that your mind puts on you. Here are some of the ways to get over a break up like a grown person.
Remove existing links
One of the most important ways to get over your ex is to remove the existing links that might lead you to him/ her. If not permanently, detach yourself from certain associations for a while at least. That includes removing them from social media platforms, contacts and other points of contacts. Another important step is to delete all the photos and videos that might remind you of them – pretty harsh yet most effective way.
As they say, an idle mind is a devil’s workshop! In the process of forgetting your ex, your mind often craves to see, talk or meet your ex. To prevent this urge to shake your morale, you must distract your mind with other activities. Keeping your mind busy will eventually give you fewer opportunities to think about your ex.
Forgive and forget
Yeah, you read it right!!! Your partner might have cheated on you, betrayed, let you down, disrespected and made you feel worthless or whatever the million possible reasons that could be, just forgive that person and be mindful of the fact that you’re worthy of all the love and happiness. I know it isn’t easy to forget those ones who once were the reason behind our happiness. You really have two choices, either cling on to that one person who doesn’t give a damn about you – I know, I’m being harsh – or leave everything behind and start afresh.
Stop going to the memory lane
Even after experiencing the worst break-up, it is human nature to remember and cherish all the memories no matter how much it hurts you. I would suggest you restrain from all of it because knowingly or unknowingly, you’re putting yourself through the worst in the name of something which doesn’t deserve your time and energy. Instead of ruining your peace, focus on something that would make you happy and contented.
Don’t reread the messages
Apparently, it is hard to resist the tendency to talk and reread the texts that you’ve exchanged with each other. If you really want to move on from the toxic hell that’s consuming you badly, perhaps, this is one of the major important steps that you should take. Stop relentlessly opening your chats when you know that it is hurting and tempting you to text them first even though you haven’t heard from them since long. As a rule of thumb, no stalking!! Remember, you’ve got better things to do champ!
Meet new people
Break-up isn’t the end of the world or your life. Get yourself involved with new people who are passionate about their career and other life goals. Go out with people and explore new places, food and make new friends who help you become strong and determined towards your goal. Speak your heart out and make good connections that you’d cherish your whole life. All you need is a change from those negative people and thoughts.
Don’t abruptly jump into another relationship
It is okay to remain single till the time you feel that there’s a need to share your life again with someone else. You may take months or years to heal yourself, but jumping abruptly to another relationship can hurt you and your current partner if you’re not mentally prepared for that adventure after a rollercoaster ride. Take your time and make sure that you want to be with someone who’s entirely new. Unless and until you haven’t completely gotten over your ex, don’t get into another relationship just because you don’t want to be single or for the sake of being in a relationship.
Break-ups will always make you realise what you genuinely seek from your partner. A healthy relationship will help you grow positively and brings out the best in you whereas some relationships turn out to be toxic, unfortunately, due to various reasons.
The love you deserve will find a way to stay even during the worst time. Stay strong bravo!