Everyone marries to settle down, to be stable in their lives and experience the part of life that we anticipate since our childhood. In various cultures and religions, marriage is described in different ways. Some define marriage as the formal certification of a social and legal contract between two individuals who agreed to live together legally while some describe it as the way to giving their consent to connect with his/ her soulmate emotionally, mentally and physically. Each individual has his/ her own views on marriage. But above all, marriage is a key element of the society that establishes a civilised culture.
Though marriage is the symbol of love, care, affection and understanding, sometimes it also carries problems, complications and chaos that affect our livelihood. There can be many chronic problems that haunt a relationship between couples and prompt them to reach a point where they feel their marriage is beyond repair. However, breaking a marriage is not easy. Besides, it isn’t always the solution, right? To fix an unhappy marriage, you must take a deep analysis of some common things and behaviour that creating a fuss in your marital life. Observe what’s missing in your marriage and how you and your partner want your relationship to be. Talking to your partner will help you understand the loopholes in your marriage and you both will release that there are many things that you both can handle personally.
When it comes to being a better husband or a better wife, there are many ways to improve the marriage. According to a 4-decade long research initiated by Dr. John Gottman, in collaboration with Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman’s clinical methods, there are many ways to improve your relationship and marriage. Let’s delve into some of those ideas by which you can improve your marriage!
Seek Help Early As It You Need a Different Point of View!
In half of all marriages, couples wait 5-6 years before consulting anyone for help for their relationship problems. This means that an average couple lives unhappily for a very long time. So, if you feel any sign of problems in your married life, talk to someone and seek help early.
Change Yourself, For Better, Of Course!
When we are in an argument or having a heated discussion on a sensitive topic, we tend to say things we don’t actually want to say. This is one such thing that makes happily married couples different from the ones who are struggling in their relationship. Always find a pleasant and composed way to express your concerns and issues – even when you’re angry. Getting yourself into the blame game doesn’t really help improve your relationship. For a healthy relationship, couples should learn to enjoy their differences and work together on things to create something special every day.
Soften Your Tone As It Avoids the Arguments!
Always sort out the conflicts with your partner with a soft tone as it will skip the chances of turning the discussion into a heated argument. Bringing up problems lightly – and without blaming – allows couples to find the solution of the problem more efficiently.
Know When to Exit the Argument!
A lot of time it happens that couples involving in the argument either exit abruptly or keep going with the argument until it gets brutal. You must understand the complexity of the topic you’re discussing with your partner and must be aware of the right time when you should leave the argument. The happily married people, mostly, are conscious about the circumstances they are dealing with and try to exit the argument before it completely out of control. This is one of the best ways by which you can improve your married life.
Hug, Kiss and a Simple ‘I Love You’ Each Day is Worth!
Marriage and family therapist Kim Blackham says that hugs, kisses and expressing your love by saying “I Love you” to your partner offer the feel-good benefits. It also expresses sincerity, faith, love and strong bond. “Oxytocin, also known as the Love Hormone, is released during hugging, kissing and feeling loved, which helps treat a number of conditions, including depression and anxiety. This Love Hormone usually has higher levels in females than in males.
Jot Down Positives & Negatives Characteristics
For a happy marriage, couples should make a list of all the positive and negative characteristics their partner possess. Note down the positive elements about your relationship at the end. A good marriage has a rich environment of positivity and warmth. Hence, always maintain your emotional bank account high.
Don’t Take Each Other for Granted
Generally, couples take their partners for granted and that’s when the problem in a relationship starts to occur. Yes, your spouse is there for you to understand you and support you, but taking this support for granted can turn out to be your biggest mistake. Being kind, caring, positive, loyal, respectful and supportive towards your partner strengthen the relationship and bond between you both.
Work Together to Improve Your Sex Life
Another issue that causes problems in marriage is the miserable sex life. With time, the spark in our sex life after marriage starts to fade. If and when it happens, just remind yourself of the moments when you first came close to your partner and felt the passion and desire for each other. Enlighten that faded spark by doing little things such as leaving love notes for each other, sending “I Love You’ texts often, kissing unexpectedly, plan a day out together sometimes, and flirt with each other etc. Yes, your partner knows you love him/ her very much but sometimes all it needs is to express your love by doing such little things. Show your better half how much you love them and you’ll see your married life improving gradually.